BFN #2

Today rings in a definite, "nope, not pregnant." As I contemplated writing this, I feel like I'm basically announcing to the whole world, "Hey! I got my period today!" Not exactly the type of thing you want to be shouting from roof tops.

I was really happy a few weeks ago when I got the smiley face on my ovulation kit. It was a sign that my body is working the way it's supposed to. This is a HUGE deal.

My husband and I had a talk about using the kit, and I told him I feel like now we are moving over into a planned and scheduled sex life. I don't want to feel like it's going to add stress or pressure ... and I certainly don't want it to feel like it's taking the romance away. So, I wan't really sure how to bring it up to him that I HAD the smiley face on the ovulation kit. He reassured me that we won't let it get too stressful and we can find ways to be silly about it, or make it entertaining. This guy. <3

In this same conversation we also talked about how right now our lives are a little crazy. My husband was laid off from his job in March and since then has been working freelance jobs, while at the same time starting a business with his brothers AND joined a friend in another business adventure. He couldn't be happier. Seriously. His old job used to stress him out and there were lots of cranky days. Now, he's working hard but he loves what he's doing and the fact that he's his own boss.
On top of that, we are in the process of getting ready to move (to another state), so we have to plan a trip in a few weeks to go house hunting, then come back to start packing.
Everything is up in the air and we're not really sure what it's all going to look like in a few months. So because of this, my husband said that he doesn't necessarily want to wait or hold off on trying, but thinking about trying isn't at the top of his list these days. I definitely don't blame him, what with all the things he has going on. Plus, how do you plan for a baby when you're not sure where you're going to be living in a few months, or what jobs you'll have?
And while we're on the subject, we are both working on trying to be healthier. We could definitely spend more time focusing on working out and eating healthier. My husband said that he really wants to make that happen before a baby comes because he wants to be able to do things, do whatever he wants, that his current weight makes it harder to do. I definitely understand this. These past few months I feel like I haven't been focusing on these things and I've actually gained a few pounds. Not happy with that at all!

So, for the next couple of months while we are getting the rest of our busy lives together, we'll just see how things naturally go, but after we've taken care of a few things, then we are going to buckle down and really get to the bottom of this baby-less situation.

The best part about the conversation we had was actually hearing my husband tell me that he's no longer afraid of becoming a dad. Little things about brand new babies might still freak him out, but he's not scared of the father he'll be. I got a little teary eyed and then he said, "Plus, I have never doubted what a great mom you will be."